They Wouldn't Notice I was missing
by Don't-call-me-Nymphadora-112
Summary: What if Draco had decided to be a little more rebellious before Hogwarts? What if he had been to Azkaban at the age of eleven? What if he was an alcoholic by the age of thirteen? Draco goes to Diagon Alley and plans on staying the night at the Three Broomsticks because he wants to escape his parents. They don't know Draco's planning a rebellion, though... (Eventual Dramione)
1. New Beginings

**Author's Notes: I put this in my ideas folder and couldn't help but to write it! Basically, it's re-writing the Harry Potter series but in Draco's POV and he is VERY OOC. See, he rebelled against his family and he turned out like a picture of an anime character I drew one time... lol. This will have several lyrics to songs in between chapters so I'm sorry if you don't like.**

 **Disclaimer: JK Rowling's world but made to be my own. The plot is mine, peepz.**

 _Tried to stay sober, tried to stay clean_

 _Wake me when it's over, like a bad dream_

 _Mama doesn't call, sister never writes_

 _Bet ya they would laugh if I called to say goodbye_

He ruffled his hair and checked himself over in the mirror. His platinum blond hair hung messily around his face and he loved it that way. He had grey smudges under his eyes from lack of sleep.

 _Why sleep when I only have so much time in life? I'll sleep plenty when I'm dead._

He was wearing a blood red, sleeveless top with a black jacket and black jeans. He then smirked at his reflection and stopped before the door.

Tom the innkeeper would be the first to see the real him and he was glad of it. He sighed and opened the door. He walked casually downstairs and walked right into Tom himself.

"Mr Malfoy?" The Innkeeper aksed, shocked. "Is that you?"

Draco just grinned at him and walked past, towards the room where everybody would be gathered around. It was afternoon and there were many people around the bar.

All of which, knew he was Draco Malfoy. All of which, knew his father would _not_ be best pleased to see him this way. Draco then saw a rather large man he had to assume was Hagrid and walked up to him, the pub had gone silent to stare at the Malfoy heir.

"S'cuse me but can you take me though to the Alley? Don't have my wand yet." Draco said with his hands in his pockets.

"Er- sure why not?" Hagrid said uncertainly.

Draco smiled at the boy with the Hogwarts Gamekeeper and immediately noticed his scar.

"You'll be Harry Potter then, eh?" Draco asked and smiled a little. "I'm Draco Malfoy."

Those who hadn't known who this boy was before now stared with open mouths at the little blond boy. He smirked and followed Hagrid and Harry out the back.

Once they were through the wall, Draco rushed off in search for the Muggle section. There was a part of the Alley that little knew about. It was where wizards could go to Muggle-style shops without being stared at. Draco found the shop in which you could dye your hair and instantly selected one of a pale pink.

The shop assistant raised his eyebrows but didn't complain. Draco then found the shop where he could get his ears pierced and got several since they were cheap. He got to small loop earrings for the top of his left ear, one for the top of his right ear, two studs for the bottom of his right ear and one stud at the bottom of his left ear. He was having a lot of fun and jingling with the money in his pocket. He then decided to be a little bit more daring and got a nose piercing in his right nostril and an eyebrow piercing on his left eyebrow.

He then saw a mirror on the other side of the room and grinned at the boy looking back at him. A little girl and her mother then walked in for the girl to get her ears pierced too.

The girl looked about his age and she had brown hair that was cut neatly just under her ears. Draco recognised her mother from some of the balls his mother had held and he smirked at the two. Mrs Parkinson didn't seem to recognise him and gave him a disgusted look before he swept out of the shop.

He caught several people's attention while on the way back to the Leaky Cauldron and even more once inside the pub.

"What will your parents say?" Draco heard a lady mutter as he passed and he shrugged at her and walked back into his room, feeling great.

 _No one's gonna worry, notice when I'm gone_

 _They wouldn't know I'm missing_

 _Til' they pull me out The Mystic_


	2. The Train

**Author's Notes: Here is the next Chapter! I love writing this but it is getting in the way of my other stories at the moment :( But I will be continuing with Hope Never Vanishes. I have decided to pospone writing some other ones and stop halfway though one to write this because I prefer it and I would appriciate if people can let me know if they like this too!**

 _Wait a second,_

 _Why should you care, what they think of you_

 _When you're all alone, by yourself_

 _Do you like you? Do you like you?_

Draco stepped onto the platform of nine and three quarters with his trunk and hopped onto the train, getting two third years to help him get it on.

"Hey, you two." Draco said to two red haired boys who liked like twins. "Can you give me hand with this?"

The two boys looked at Draco and shugged, lifting up the trunk onto the train.

"Cheers." Draco muttered before setting off to find an empty compartment but the only two that were not full were one with a girl with bushy brown hair and a boy with a round face or the one with Harry Potter and a boy who must have been a Weasley. Draco decided to go with the first one.

"Mind if I join you two? Everywhere else's full." Draco asked, walking in as the two nodded. "I'm Draco Malfoy. Who are you?"

The boy with the round face stared at Draco like he was a martian.

"I'm Hermione Granger and that's Neville Longbottom." The girl said with a smile. "He's lost his toad. Do you want to help us look for him?"

"No, not really." Draco said with a shrug before starting to play with a strand of his dull, pink messy hair. "Perhaps in a bit. He'll be on the train somewhere, right?"

The two exchanged a look before Hermione got up and left the compartment to look for this toad, leaving Draco and Neville alone.

"My Gran said that all Malfoy's are mean and horrible people." Neville said wearily and Draco chuckled. "She said they care more about their looks and blood status then people's feelings. But… You have… pink hair and… piercings. Your clothes are a bit-"

"Odd?" Draco cut in with a grin. "I'm not like my dad. I've wanted to be the real me for years now and now that he isn't constantly watching me, I can do just that."

"What about in the Christmas holidays? Will you stay in Hogwarts?" Neville asked and looked confused when Draco shook his head.

"I was thinking of just getting sent to Azkaban instead." Draco said seriously.

Neville mistook it for sarcasm and laughed slightly. Draco smirked. We'll see who's laughing in the end…

"So, what's your favorite drink, Nev?" Draco asked after a pause of silence.

"I like Pumpkin Juice." Neville said, cocking his head to the side a little. "How about you?"

"I like a good Firewhisky." Draco shrugged and Neville's eyebrows shot right up. "What? Just because it's not legal for Muggle's to drink alcohol under a certain age, I'll have you know, there is no such Wizarding law."

Neville stared at Draco with a mix of shock and awe. Draco ran a hand through his side fringe to get it out of his eyes and played with a dragon's tooth necklace around his neck, absentmindedly.

"You'll never guess who I've just met." Said Hermione as she walked through the compartment door and at down next to Draco. "Harry Potter!"

Draco nodded a little and raised an eyebrow.

"Met him at Diagon Alley." He said, looking out the window before pulling out a pair of wireless earphones.

Draco had asked for a man at Diagon Alley to replace all the electronics inside with spells so that they worked at Hogwarts. He listened to Nightcore until the end of the journey.

 _You don't have to try so hard_

 _You don't have to give it all away_

 _You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up_

 _You don't have to change a single thing_


	3. The Fight

**Author's Notes: This chapter is violent. I'm sorry if it's confusing. It should be. These chapters skip time every time so you may have to use your imagination. Basically, Draco goes mad and he doesn't know how to control himself, Snape tries to help him but in the end, nothing works. Nothing can help Draco. So... yeah! I love this story and I listen to music as I make these so sometimes they may be sappy lovey dovey chapters (they won't come for some time to come) and some may be a little violent. I'm sorry if people don't like this chapter. I like writing these type of stories and I like reading them as well. If you don't want to read this then skip it, I plan on doing a summary in the next chapters AN. So here we go!**

 **Disclaimer: JK's World, singers songs, my ideas.**

 _I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin_

 _I must confess that I feel like a monster_

Draco looked at the boy in front of him. They were about to duel. Draco had requested to do it deep in the Forbidden Forest.

Harry looked deep into the boy's eyes. He could see determination and pure evil. He was scared. Draco knew what he was doing but Harry had never done a duel before. They both knew it was illegal. That's why Draco wanted to do it. He was a rule breaker.

This much, all the teachers knew. Draco beat up even the biggest of people in the school. He'd sent many seventh years to the infirmary and everybody was scared of him. He was mad. And boy, did he know it.

His mother had stopped writing and stopped calling him with his magic mirror. Also, his mother was pregnant and she was having a daughter. Probably to replace him.

He was the disgrace of the family and he loved it. He had detention every day of the week, he had inflicted scars on most of the people in the school and he was still a first year. It wasn't even Christmas yet! In fact, it wasn't even November yet!

Yup, mid October and Draco was the most feared person in the school. Nobody came near him. He loved the sight of blood, the sound of people's screams. He was insane. This is why Harry was so scared.

" _Expelliarmus._ " Draco said smugly.

Harry's wand shot right out of his hand and Draco caught it easily. Draco grinned evilly and twirled it in his hand before dropping it on the floor and standing on it, crushing it and laughing as it snapped it in two.

" _Crucio."_ Draco said. He'd heard his father use it on some Muggle's in the Manor before and he was rather anxious to see what it did. Draco's face turned to worry as Harry started to scream loudly. Draco took the spell off him.

"Sorry." Draco said quickly and Harry nodded, smiling slightly. "I had no clue what that did. How about I play fair and don't use my wand either."

Harry like Draco. Even though he was terrified of him, he thought he was cool. So did everybody else. And don't even mention Hermione! She was a changed girl! She _definitely_ thought Draco was cool. Harry got a little annoyed with the amount of times she would talk about him. It was _really_ annoying.

Draco threw the first punch. Harry went backwards and fell to the floor with a loud thud. Blood escaped his nose and his lip was split badly. He was sure he would have a black eye by pounced on Harry and pinned him to the ground. He stuck his hand in his pocket with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

 _He'll regret saying yes to this little fight._ Draco thought gleefully. He didn't know what was wrong with him. He'd just woken up and felt absolutely crazy. But he really did love the feeling.

Draco pulled out his knife. It wasn't very sharp but it would draw some blood and he didn't want to hurt Harry too much. He liked Harry. Harry was cool. He also hated Harry. He hated him because everybody loved him. He had always liked being different but had never been able to express it.

Draco swiped the knife across Harry's skin several times before getting up and kicking him into a nearby tree. Lights surrounded the two. Draco saw people's wands upson him. He knew that they had detected the Unforgivable curse.

"Raise your hands, boy." Said a furious looking Minister of Magic.

Draco did as he was told and held up his hands in defeat. He then saw Professor Dumbledore and Professor Snape behind the Ministry officials and he grinned at them. Snape looked scared. Scared for Draco. Scared because he knew what was in store for the boy.

Azkaban. Surprisingly, Draco didn't care. He could get away from reality and work out what was wrong with him. Snape had been giving him a potion to stop him from being as violent as he felt the need to be.

Draco couldn't help it. He didn't know how to control it. It was tearing him up from the inside like a monster deep within him. He loved it yet hated it so much. It was agony yet relief. Was that possible? Apparently so…

 _I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun_

 _I must confess that I feel like a monster_


	4. The Trial

**Author's Notes: Well, here is the next chapter! I love writing this and I hope you people are liking it too, nomatter who, 'you people' are. I'd love to know who enjoys this because it gives me determination to write more. There is sometimes problems with the formatting so I appologise if something goes wrong and it looks like some sort of odd coding, anyways, on with the Chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: JK's characters, Greatest Show Man's song, my ideas.**

 _When the sharpest words want to cut me down_

 _I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out_

 _This is brave this is bruised, This is who I'm meant to be_

 _This is me._

Draco sat, chained to a chair in front of the Wizengamot. When some of the students had heard the news that he was to have a hearing about using an Unforgivable curse, they'd been more than happy to share the acts of violence Draco had used.

Snape explained that there must've been some sort of spell on him and that he couldn't control it but this only made the trial more difficult for Draco. They seemed to treat him like some sort of wild animal.

Draco sat, his stony expression guarded so that people could not sense his discomfort.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy, did you use an Unforgivable curse in the Forbidden Forest on Harry James Potter two nights ago?" The Minister for Magic asked and Draco nodded, soundlessly.

"And did you harm him in other ways too, such as with a knife found about your person?" The Minister questioned and, again, Draco nodded.

"Present your defence for using the Cruciatus curse on a fellow student." The Minister ordered.

"I didn't know what the spell was." Draco said, false croakily as if he were about to cry. "I heard Father say something about it to Mother one time. I had no clue it was illegal. As for doing a duel in the first place, it was meant to be a harmless practice for Defence Against the Dark Arts between friends."

Draco was glad that Harry had tried to insist that Draco wasn't in the wrong because they would more likely be convinced he was innocent.

"Other students have commented on your violence. A Professor at your school claims you can't control yourself, is this correct?" Draco nodded in response. "The Wizengamot and I will discuss the matter while you are free to see your parents outside of the room. I am afraid under the circumstances, you must wear handcuffs."

Draco nodded as he was unchained and handcuffed. He shuffled out of the room in silence with a hidden grin on his face. He didn't want to smile it just...happened. Another thing he didn't know how to prevent.

"Draco." He heard his mother sob before he was brought into a tight embrace. He knew that she really did care about him but just hadn't wanted him to know it since he was a disgrace on the Malfoy name. Same with his father really. They both wanted to keep up appearances.

This, Draco thought, was an awful excuse. Basically, they cared more about what society thought of them than their own son. Great. Really Great. Slow clap, Mr and Mrs Malfoy.

Draco stiffened and stepped back from his mother's arms as she looked at him with a confused face. He glared at his parents.

"Finally decided I was worth being your son? Took you long enough." His father was about to interrupt. "You care more about what others think of you than you care about me. You recon that now I'm 'all interesting' you can welcome me back with open arms. Get this, I wanted to leave you. I don't care about either of you any more because you don't want to see that this is me. This is who I want to be. Get that through your thick, aristocratic brains!"

"Mr Malfoy." A member of the Ministry looked around the door. "You are needed in here."

Draco nodded and walked in with his head bowed, making himself look pale and scared even though he was really calm inside. He didn't even know why…

"If we let you off, then everybody will try and wriggle out of the situation." The Minister sighed and Draco felt his eyes really widen with fear. "But we take pity on you so you are sentenced to six months in Azkaban. We really are sorry, Mr Malfoy. We will let you say goodbye to your family before we take you there."

Draco nodded slowly and left the room, trembling and as white as a sheet. His parents got the message from the look on his face and rushed over to him but he wriggled out of their grasp and, with a final glare at them, went with the Ministry officials who were looking at him pityingly.

But deep inside Draco, he was whooping as if he had accomplished a mission. He decided that he'd most likely have six months to think about what sort of mission that was. He saw Harry at the exit of the Ministry and he looked at him apologetically before Draco was apparated away, to Azkaban.

 _Look out because here I come_

 _And I'm marching onto the beat I drum_

 _I'm not scared to be seen, I make no apologies_

 _This is me_


	5. Azkaban

**Author's Notes: Hey! I loved writing this chapter so I hope you enjoy reading it! Dramione won't happen for some time to come but I hope you people like rebellious Draco enough to survive long enough. I won't be posting any Hope Never Vanishes until maybe Monday night? So appologies to anybody waiting for that!**

 **Disclaimer: I only own the plot. The song and characters are not mine.**

 _My eyes are stapeled open wide_

 _As I lay down on my side_

 _I am bouncing off these walls_

Draco had gone, if possible, even more insane. His hands were permanently handcuffed behind his back and his neck was chained to an iron ball by his bed.

When his hands were set free so he could eat, he attacked the person freeing him until they bled and begged for mercy. Draco could hardly call his mind his own.

A week into the Azkaban sentence and his parents had visited him once but must have sworn to each other not to return because they were ashamed of him. The person delivering food was different every time and they all strode in not looking in the slightest bit worried and left bloody and bruised.

When the Daily Prophet was slipped through the bars of his cell, he saw that he was at the front of many issues. There was a lasting debate as to whether he deserved to be in there or if it was completely unfair.

The only one saying he should be in there was Rita Skeeter. Everybody else completely opposed to the Ministry sending an eleven year old child to Azkaban. Draco always teared up the Rita Skeeter ones with his teeth.

Draco had kept his knife and left it on his bed most of the time. When Rita's article was pushed through the metal bars, he would grab to knife with his mouth and wreck the paper until it was a pile of paper on the floor.

One day, a man from St Mungo's appeared at the door of his cell and he walked in slowly. The small part of Draco that was still sane allowed him to undo his handcuffs because he knew that he was going to try and treat whatever Draco had.

"Draco, I'd like you to try and speak normally to me. I know it's hard but just say something." The healer said while he cast a few spells on the boy that Draco didn't know.

"Help." Draco managed to whisper before he felt the monster (or whatever it was) take over again and he attacked the man with his knife in hand.

The man paused and cast a quick shield spell before putting the handcuffs back on Draco's wrists and gently prying the knife out of his clasped hand.

"I will have to try a few things so that I can cancel off the things that this _isn't_ before I can determine what it _is._ " The Healer pulled out a packet of pills of some sort. "Try these for a few days and I will return to see how you are getting on. Good day."

' _Oh yeah, great day. Really jolly.'_ Draco thought bitterly. He wondered how he was going to get the pills in his mouth when another man walked in, shaking. Draco recognised him as one of the people who first served him food.

He put a pill in a glass of what smelt like firewhisky and held it out for Draco to see.

"Only have Firewhisky. It may burn your throat a little if this is the first time you had some." The man then held the glass to Draco's lips and he drank eagerly.

Draco drank until every last drop was gone. The pill must've dissolved into the drink before he had drank it because he didn't feel it go down his dried up throat.

"Fond of Firewhisky, eh? You surprise me, Draco. I'll know to send some up with your food next time." With that, the man backed out of the room hurriedly and locked the door once more while Draco lay on the bed.

He couldn't sleep. He never did. He hadn't had a blink of sleep since he'd came here and he knew the medicine wouldn't work. He had no hope left in him. He just had to wait. Lie and wait.

 _And as I'm staring at the clock_

 _Time stays still but I can not_

 _I should trap myself in bed_

 _I guess I'll sleep when I am dead._


	6. Christmas

**Author's Notes: Yes! Another chapter! This almost didn't get posted because I was busy tonight but I insisted that I post this up before going off to do some other stuff that according to parents are, 'more important than silly stories'. Eh. Tis fun to write though!**

 **Disclaimer: JK owns the world, Three Days Grance own the song and I own the plot along with a brain full of ideas!**

 _In this bed I lay, losing everyhting_

 _I can see my life passing me by_

 _Was it all too much? Or just not enough?_

 _Wake me up. I'm living a nightmare_

Draco knew that today would be miserable but he hadn't imagined this. It was Christmas day and Draco was _not_ looking forward to it.

Draco had the most visitors out of all the people in Azkaban because most weren't allowed guests. Apparently, the Ministry had pity on Draco for being so young yet being stuck in Azkaban for another four months.

It seemed that most of the human Azkaban guards had not pity whatsoever for the boy as he was, in their eyes, a raving lunatic.

You can imagine the surprise when Draco found none other than the-Boy-Who-Lived in the waiting room along with the Gryffindor swot, Hermione. Draco chewed angrily on the gag in his mouth.

"Oh my!" Hermione gasped at the sight in front of her. Draco stood with his hair matted and hanging around his dirty face. His earrings and other piercings were rather rusty and Draco was wearing a baggy, torn and dirty blood red top with a pair of jeans that were also ripped and frayed.

Another thing was that he was startlingly skinny. It was alarming, really. Seeing such a big change in a person after them only been here a short amount of time.

"What have I done?" Harry whispered and bent over his knees, pulling his hair and muttering to himself. "It's all my fault."

Draco managed to spit the gag out.

"Yeah, it is all your fault." Draco managed croakily before pulling hard at the metal ball behind him. Hermione gasped again and Draco continued to struggle so that he was in a position where he could get his spare knife out of his pocket and carefully unscrew the handcuffs.

Once his hands were free he went about rolling the ball so that he could come up closer to his two classmates and he perched on the ball before balancing himself and curling his legs under his chin.

"What've I missed?" Draco asked wearily. The pills were stopping him from losing it but it was slowly weakening him. On top of the Dementors roaming around, Draco was finding it too much to handle. The Healer told him that if the Ministry didn't release him early, there was a possibility he may die.

Draco told himself he wouldn't die over and over in his head, as if this would prevent it from happening.

"Not much really." Hermione said vaguely. "We've obviously moved on in classes but it's nothing you won't be able to catch up on if you study hard into the night."

Draco nodded and quickly made the chains about him look as though they were attached as the two were taken away from him hurriedly. Draco waited for his next visitor and his breath hitched at the view.

His parents. His father looking tired and weary and his mother looking torn between happiness and destaght. Of course they would both be happy about the little girl coming very soon. All the better to replace Draco, in his opinion.

He took out his hands from behind his back and spat out the gag again onto his lap and lugged the ball towards the two adults. They looked horrified that so much chains were necessary.

"I hate you." Draco whispered hoarsely, emphasizing his whease to make them worry. Draco liked worrying his parents. It amused him how their faces would go pale and their eyes fill up with emotion that really didn't suit them.

Draco then had another one of his regular coughing fits. A side-effect of the pills. A bit of blood came up with the final cough and Draco wiped it off his chin with the bottom of his top and staggered back to collapse on the bed.

Draco had to heave at the ball to get it to obey him but it did in the end and he fell back on the bed with another loud fit of coughs.

The prison had also been giving him a lot of Firewisky since they found out he was fond of it. It seemed that they felt they could do something positive for his 'hopeless case' as they referred to it if they gave him the so called demon drink.

Draco knew that the smell was easily picked up once stepping close to the cell and his mother's nose was wrinkled in disgust and both his parents eyes were full of fury. He didn't care about them though. They just wanted to keep the Malfoy line, have an heir and keep appearances.

"What have they done to you?" His father asked quietly, his voice sounding angry but not concerned. He really didn't care about his son but nobody knew how much he wished he was able to care about Draco.

"I'm treated like royalty compared to everybody else." Draco said before having to close his eyes due to the sudden heaviness in them. "Promise me one thing though."

"Anything." His mother said with watery eyes.

"Promise you'll at least try to get the Ministry to let me out in the next month. The Healer says that if they don't, I'll die." Draco gave a tiny white lie. It was true that the Healer had said he might die. See _might_ die. Also, the Healer didn't specify when he had to be out. He had just said before the original date.

Draco then turned over as his parents were taken away and he prepared for another sleepless night.

 _I will not die, I'll wait here for you_

 _I will survive if you're beside me_

 _I will not die, I'll wait here for you_

 _In my time of dying_


End file.
